Okay. I was at Harpur Palate and read some incredible stories (disturbing ones). It's amazing how some people can write so well; their stories are so fluid and thought provoking.
What's strange is having to see people you think you'd never see again and then you see them. It's like great, wish I had been more social and less fucking weird last time--I have a bad habit of playing up to what I think their impression of me is. It kind of reminds me of HK actors, where you watch a movie with the same actor/actress you watched a thousand times before in other movies, except it's with people you have to associate with in real life.
Lately, everything seems to be such a coincidence, little words and actions and events. It's linked to something or other that's been on my mind. For some reason, this makes me feel like I'm close to discovering something important. In relation to but not really pertaining to, I was at Harpur Palate I overheard something that made me break out into goose bumps and chills. I thought my blood would start spurting out of my veins because I tensed up and fidgeted, knowing that I'd see a different perspective on things--the truth? I tensed up because I knew what was about to be said were going imply that there's a tendency for weirdness, close enough to be insulting. I feel rather stupid because now I see someone else's point of view.
My first instinct was to delete, delete until I could feel like I got back my dignity. I mean, really? Am I that naive and gullible? Then I tried to think about it reasonably. I can understand their opinions, but I feel like if I turn back then it's like I'm just like everyone else who judges without getting to the core.
I know and I suppose that's all that matters. Besides I'm not the one lying, just perchance being lied to.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment