Do you ever have times where you're just standing from afar and you're watching everyone mingle and you think that you can fit in if you wanted to, but as you stare at the crowd you realize it's so meaningless and so pointless to bother.

[Romanticized view] when I go out to places filled with people--bar--I always hope, ridiculously, that I'll catch someone's eye and some guy will catch my eye and BAM it'll happen, that I'll find someone worth knowing in that mass of people because I know. But I really don't know anything.

That kind of thing doesn't happen (and perhaps if I deny it enough that it will happen).