Woke up with a tummy full of strange anxiety

I didn't mean to dream about you again, but I guess, secretly, there are insecurities that I would rather admit to myself in my dream than in the real world (if this is the real world).

Somehow I was with Joann and Lily, and we were searching for you because it seemed like any second you would leaving to some remote cite (LV...louie vuitton). So I go to this restaurant in search of you because there's no way of contacting you without going to meet you. We spoke with one of other workers, thinking that he could possibly be you. I thought that you turned into someone else completely, so when the other worker said he was you, I wasn't surprised. Joann and Lily thought you were ugly though; however, the worker lied about being you. So then I think we found some way to get to you.

The scene shifts to Dayana and I on the bus, going to some random place, I think I was trying to look for you. We're on the bus, passing by all these locations. Of course, I never reach you, but somehow I end up at Rachel Zoe's mansion--I think that was because I read yesterday that a couple was at her party.

I woke up surprised at the contents of my dream. I don't mean to invest so much of myself into it. In fact, I still don't believe that it's that big of a deal; I still feel that I can walk away whenever I want. Then why did I wake up so anxious? Like I couldn't bare it.

I'm already looking for you when you haven't even disappeared yet.

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Last night, as I was walking up to my dorm after the longest day with my head phones on, one of the lunch ladies asked me if the transportation was coming or not. She's small, has glasses, and has a hoarse voice. I told her that I didn't know if her transportation came yet.

I was walking away when I was thinking about how the other day I asked her if she saw my sunglasses in the dining hall. She really tried to look for them for me. That stayed with me, so I turned back and walked back to her to accompany her.

She was tearing and talking about how her mother needs her since she's sick, alone, and 84. There she stood infront of CIW dining hall alone. I couldn't bare to leave her. She kept shooing me away because she knows I have to study, but I didn't want to leave her there.

Eventually, I took her into the Night Owl and the nice worker there was going to call the BC transport for her. However, as we were trying to get in, I realized she was blind. I opened the door for her but she got confused and closed it and then opened it to enter.

When I finally walked away from her, I was just frustrated. I don't understand how some people are left alone even though they don't deserve to be. I don't understand how some people who have such good intentions are never noticed or cared about enough.

I wonder how many people there are in the world, like this lunch lady, just waiting to get home to get to their mother.