I don't understand family.
Who invented such a fucked up structure that it's the only stable constant that's willing to pick up the fucking pieces of your life in it's unique way?
I want to steal that look of dread from their eyes. I want to take away that look that says "I'm lost and I have no one". I want to keep it from spreading to the younglings, keep it from usurping the innocence from their eyes. Yes. I wish I could protect all the little ones from getting hurt because they never did anything to deserve to be in their situation.
If anything ever happened to my dad, I don't know what I would do. I'm scared and in wait of the day where I can't call him to tell him that I love him, where I can't tell him that I know he sacrifices for me everyday. That I'm so proud of him and that I don't care that he couldn't be the ideal dad. That he's the only one I have.
I eat and I exercise so I can forget.
I write so I can remember.
My style of writing? Jagged random thoughts crammed together to make blogs like this.
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