Rain is Sucking my Life Away

I am most disgruntled on the weekend when the room is dark and I hear the stampeding of rain drops on the ground. I curl up more and snuggle into my blankets and try to convince myself to sleep later since the room is dark and it's raining.

I like rainy days, but sometimes they feel unproductive.

I went to Habad yesterday, a Jewish service place, with my friends. I am not Jewish; I used to be Christian. Thus, it reminded me of my church except expanded and more laid-back. The new extension was HUGE, like a mansion! They had a fitness room, a huge screen t.v., a kick-ass dining area, a game room, and a place to sell cookies, pizza, and etc. I remember walking through it and thinking, "What the hell? No wonder this building was 3 million dollars!" Also, there was a freaking couch in the freaking bathroom! No wonder boys expect couches to be in girl's bathroom.

I also ended up sitting two seats away from the Rabbi. This drew unneccessary attention for me since everyone was looking at our table and my raven hair and Asian good looks stuck out like a sore thumb. I have to be honest and say that the Rabbi reminded me of my Pastor-who friended me on facebook-and I thanked him for the free meal, which was delicious. I wish I could have spoken to him, but it felt inappropriate. I wanted to learn more about the Jewish culture. They don't seem so different from Christianity or Catholicism because it did originate from Judaism. There is a sense of kindness and unity that is overwhelmingly familiar in every religion; it evokes a sense of religious pride in me again.

Hence, i had a ripping good time yesterday night, but highly doubt that I will return. Right after I left Habad, I said that I felt a little Jewish now, but flipped open my cell phone afterwards, which apparently is not a very Jewish thing to do on the Sabbath.

My column for this week.

The “Unknowns” and the “Excluded” are people we all know and recognize, perhaps because we are surrounded by them or perhaps because we, too, feel like one. I cannot tell you what their names are — unless I look at the door tags — or who their friends are, or if they prefer science to English, or if they have siblings or lovers. What I can say is that they are not as remote as they seem because, in actuality, they live next door or down the hall. The “Unknowns” are students who pass by daily without any interaction, without so much as a squeaky “Hi.” Or if there is, there is no substance in the conversation, no real connection. They are there and you are here; no effort is made to close the widening gap that accumulates as the school year goes on. The “Excluded” are those that your friends reject due to a specific incident or because they are too embarrassed to be seen with them. They are unfortunately exiled and most of the time don’t know it. As an outsider looking in, though, it is quite obvious who is not fully accepted. Most would blame them and state, “Oh, their personality sucks!” That may be true, but what about those who are misunderstood or disliked simply because they are different?

I will not pretend that I am a saint that sees through everyone or tries to talk to every person on my floor, but at the very least, I am civil to people. I try not to talk about someone else unless I know I would say it to their face. This is not just a form of polite etiquette; it is called respect. Respect should be given to every human being, particularly if someone was once a friend. It is incredible to see how some people turn on each other at the first sign of distress or anger. It says quite a lot about one’s character when one does not even bother to inform the recently “Excluded” that they are no longer liked. This brings backstabbing to a whole new level.

The hard truth is that when someone detests another person, they gossip with their friends. This may not sound like an Earth-shattering dilemma, but their negative views will spread to others. Then, unconsciously, people will find themselves avoiding the same person without any real reason, which, unfortunately, I can personally attest to. However, I regret that I have mindlessly followed at times because there is no excuse to hurt a person’s feelings unless they were insulting and offensive. Everyone should have the opportunity to feel accepted; therefore, as a person, everyone is encouraged to develop a sense of humanitarianism.

Also, pertaining to the “Unknowns,” I must say that I loathe this label the most, or rather, the situation behind the label, not because it is not true, but because this has nothing to do with other people. The sole reason they are unknown is because I make no effort to familiarize myself with them. They have ambitions, passion and pain that I can sympathize with or even empathize with, but if I continue my pathetic lack of communication, then nothing will change. They will continue their lives and I mine. Thus, rather than lamenting all the potential friends I could have made, I will stalk the residents of my hall and gather to have a tea party.