Freeman-Asia Scholarship, a pretty fucking good scholarship, is no longer going to be available for the Summer 2009. Something something about the economy being bad and how they have no money, yada yada. Did they ever think about me? Did they ever ask me how I would feel since I am feeling pretty rotten at this moment!
Honestly, I wish I could scream out my frustration, but then people would think I'm more loony than I already come off as.
Finding a cheap way to study abroad equals ultimate fail.
Pertaining to job applying for the winter equals complete fail.
I'm serpentining through crowds of people at the mall and all I can think about is how can the economy be so shitty when there are hundreds of people shopping right now? Which leads to me thinking about why is the Freeman-Asia scholarship was cut out when there are these crowds--sweat mark inducing and too close for comfort crowds (how will I survive China?)--that are dutifully fulfilling their consumer role.
I am going to puke out the turkey, potatoes, squid, vegetables, fish, ham, red bean ice cream, and grapes I had yesterday due to anxiety.
"Hope" is the Thing with Feathers"Hope" is the thing with feathers--
That perches in the soul--
And sings the tune--without the words--
And never stops -- at all--And sweetest--in the gale--is heard--
I've heard it in the chillest land--
And sore must be the storm--
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm--
And on the strangest Sea--
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb--of Me.
-Emily Dickinson
I feel a sense of relief at reading this.
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