The E.N.D. --Black Eye Peas Didn't Know the Half of It

Returning to a place after two years of absence shows me how much I've matured, how different I think now. Every move I make, I think about the consequences and how they could affect the children.

After working with children again, I can say--somewhat-- that I'm more patient. I speak with the kids with a softer tone because they understand and listen better. Though, I won't sugar-coat the truth that I did yell a lot towards the end, my voice was hoarse like an old engine.

Although I love children, when I work with them, I lose interest occasionally, paying attention to other counselors more. However, this year, it was really about the children. I adore all of them. One of the girls, on the last day--yesterday, had a break down; she became very violent and started to scream hysterically. It scared me and in some ways reminded me of myself when I was younger, so angry at the world because of the lack of effort and harmony at home. Most kids act up because they don't get any attention or get any appropriate attention at home. When she calmed down and she said to me, "I just want my family to be happy." And when she tried to explain her family problems, she started to choke up and bury her head to wipe her tears. Have you ever seen a grown adult choke up? How pitiful it is? Now imagine a little girl gasping for breath because she's trying to find the words.

I hugged her tightly and told her, "Don't worry. Everything is going to be okay." But will it? How many more hardships will she have to face? How scarred will she become? The truth is, most of the kids are in an abusive family situation or in a situation where their family don't give a hoot about them.

Isn't it sad.

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I'm trying to prepare myself for Bing again, mentally at least. This time, I promise to be more efficient--less lazy--and more organized.

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GD came out with his solo album! I like the rhythm in She's Gone, Butterfly, and Heartbreaker, but GD's songs sound more and more Americanized, especially Butterfly.

Watching Beethoven's Virus--the conductor is so my type!