Here's a little glimpse.
It is quite simple; I want to die. I am not speaking of those quiet deaths where your loved one sits beside you and cries silently as I close my eyes and steadily slip into the afterlife. No, I’m speaking of a painful death, where I wish someone would take a sharpened pencil and use the lead point to stab tiny holes into my chest and let all the crimson liquid from my pumping heart drain out like some sort of strainer. But the dilemma with this is that no one has the guts to do this. No one has the audacity to kill a man in such an appalling and atrocious manner. Thus, I am a lucky man. And thus, I am fucked.
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