Wouldn't it be funny if I taught abroad in Dominican Republic?...No?

"...We both love bacon and country music, what more could you possibly want?"

What more could he want? It was an incredibly stupid question and when he failed to answer, I was reminded of just how lucky I truly am. Movie characters might chase each other through the fog or race down the stairs of burning buildings, but that's for beginners. Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings. I wanted to say something to this effect, but my hand puppets were back home in their drawer. Instead, I pulled my chair a few inches closer, and we sat silently at our little table on the square, looking for all the world like two people in love.

-Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris

"I'll chain its ass down if I have to, but ain't no baby of mine going to forsake the womb."