Absolute Hypocrisy!

I sprout nonsense about how people should trust each other and lean on others if they need help, but, here I am, as I was, not trusting anyone.

I don't realize that I do not trust people until I come to a point where I think of something private and keep it to myself. I don't bottle things up, but rather prefer not to tell people because if I do then they are a step closer in obtaining a part of me. The reason why I am and can be independent is because I never give a lot of myself to someone. I show them my flaws and morals, but the real essence of who I am, I cannot allow others to see. I don't want to feel regret when they disappoint me because no one can always be there for me. Besides, I have hissy fits all the time. haha

It snowed on Friday. The Trees stood like icicle towers, proud and chilled, and the heavens were a blend of Coral Red and an underlying Cobalt Blue. While, the moon was supposed to be this circular exhibition of glowing light; yet, I could barely see it, could barely feel its presence.

I laid there, at the edge of the field, feeling my fingers and my toes freeze, but I couldn't move. I wished in that instant that I didn't have to eventually leave. I wished that I could stay in that state of vegetation and not have anyone touch me with passion, with happiness, with hope, with sorrow, with pain. I wanted to stay in this state of nonchalance for as long as I could.

That night reminded me of that night from January when I called him and I knew he wouldn't pick up. The sky was just as dark and it was snowing just as hard. I laid there, hoping but already knowing the outcome. So for the sake of the past, I called him again, hoping but already knowing the outcome.