Munching Fiend

Best Advice

2012-01-18T21:46:00.001-05:00

Guppy: Take it easy, work passionately, and things will unfurl as they will.

2012-01-17T22:17:00.000-05:00

I think I'm really letting go.

2012-01-16T20:40:00.000-05:00

Craving wine.

2012-01-16T20:06:00.001-05:00

Martini: Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come.

Under the Tuscan Sun

Stop the bitching

2012-01-15T14:11:00.002-05:00

I can't pinpoint it, but something is wrong. I can't tell if it's hormones or something else. I'm trying my best to stay positive and count my blessings--because I AM truly blessed.

I'm not sure what I want anymore. Last night, I had a depressing dream; I woke up feeling alone. There's definitely a correlation between how much I sleep to how unsatisfied I am with the world.

I want to go running.

2012-01-02T21:23:00.002-05:00

I don't regret a thing. With you, I was happy.

2012-01-01T12:01:00.000-05:00

Beautiful day of a new year. Out for a long run. This jelly belly needs to go!

2011-12-30T23:36:00.001-05:00

THROW YOURSELF LIKE A SEED
By Miguel de Unamuno

Shake off this sadness, and recover your spirit
sluggish you will never see the wheel of fate
that brushes your heel as it turns going by,
the man who wants to live is the man in whom life is abundant.

Now you are only giving food to that final pain
which is slowly winding you in the nets of death,
but to live is to work, and the only thing which lasts
is the work; start then, turn to the work.

Throw yourself like seed as you walk, and into your own field,
don’t turn your face for that would be to turn it to death,
and do not let the past weigh down your motion.

Leave what’s alive in the furrow, what’s dead in yourself,
for life does not move in the same way as a group of clouds;
from your work you will be able one day to gather yourself.

2011-12-29T23:56:00.001-05:00

Every girl has her limits. And this is mine. Bye Curious George.

2011-12-24T23:20:00.001-05:00

Another resolution....SAVE MONEY!

3 Reasonable Resolutions Continued

2011-12-21T21:00:00.002-05:00

1. Write 1 short story a month.
2. Run at least twice a week.
3. Read at least 1 book a month.
4. Give money to dad & gma so they can save it for themselves.

3 Reasonable Resolutions

2011-12-20T20:44:00.000-05:00

I'll get back to you.

2011-12-17T22:45:00.000-05:00

"Pauline Attention:
Three Books Please"
-Dad

2011-12-10T20:26:00.001-05:00

I'm here. I promise.

2011-11-22T12:02:00.003-05:00

It's one thing to know subconsciously that you're not as fortunate as some others, but it's quite another when the government needs you to file goddamn papers and asks you questions that pretty much labels you as a poor motherfucker.

2011-11-19T23:17:00.000-05:00

"We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We do not want to prove ourselves to another or compete for love."

James Kavanaugh, There Are Men Too Gentle to Live Among Wolves

2011-11-19T15:45:00.003-05:00

Once upon a time, I really thought you were my soul mate Gurpreet. Then we both gradually forgot and walked different paths. But when I see your picture, my heart flip-flops like a fish gasping for its last breath.

How morbid. haha

2011-11-17T21:21:00.000-05:00

The second month of Occupy Wall Street. It's making history.

2011-11-14T20:05:00.000-05:00

My world feels flat.

2011-11-07T21:02:00.001-05:00

My words are the sincerest gift I could ever give.

2011-11-02T19:35:00.003-04:00

God's blessings:
1. Internship at a book publishing agency with amazing literary agents
2. Current internship at a local newspaper with editors that really care.
-Interviewing Palestinian Novel Peace Prize nominee Izzeldin Abuelaish
-Attended Occupy Brooklyn rally
3. Part-time job with down-to-earth coworkers and kids that humble me.
4. Friends who appreciate life and always make me laugh.
5. Healthy family that loves me, even at times when I don't deserve it.
6. Dominican kid.

Thank you God.

2011-11-01T22:30:00.001-04:00

I really want to hear your voice.

2011-11-01T21:25:00.001-04:00

Almond butter? Genius idea!

2011-10-30T18:29:00.000-04:00

Pauline got her groove back.

2011-10-26T21:57:00.002-04:00

"The one claim I shall make for my own sex is that we love longest, when all hope is gone."
-Film's Persuasion (2007)

2011-10-25T22:21:00.002-04:00

It feels like I'm trying so hard to talk to you, but the more you don't care, the more I don't either.

2011-10-24T11:58:00.001-04:00

There are lovers content with longing.
I'm not one of them.
-Rumi

2011-10-24T11:54:00.001-04:00

CarrollBlog 10.22

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

2011-10-23T18:52:00.000-04:00

“I live in Tokyo,” he told me, “a kind of civilized world — like New York or Los Angeles or London or Paris. If you want to find a magical situation, magical things, you have to go deep inside yourself. So that is what I do. People say it’s magic realism — but in the depths of my soul, it’s just realism. Not magical. While I’m writing, it’s very natural, very logical, very realistic and reasonable.”
-Haruki Murakami

2011-10-20T21:13:00.000-04:00

My dad dreamt that my mom was alive.

2011-10-19T13:49:00.002-04:00

For November:
1. Apply for internships.
2. Working part-time.
3. Interning.
4. Writing a novel.

November is going to be a killer. I can't wait.

Before I forget

2011-10-16T21:47:00.002-04:00

“Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before.”
-Unknown

I don't take being ignored very well.

2011-10-16T16:58:00.001-04:00

2011-10-13T21:00:00.001-04:00

And now a couple having sex while skydiving... Unbelievable.

2011-10-13T20:31:00.002-04:00

The news is getting outrageous: US House passes bill to ban federal funds for health care services providing abortions; former death-row inmate is released and married to a woman 10 years older, and a self-proclaimed "super hero" gets arrested.

Disappointments

2011-10-11T11:26:00.004-04:00

I'm inspired by one of my friends. I've been giving her tips on how to handle an interview for a job that I had gone through earlier this year, though I wasn't accepted.

I was bitter when I was rejected and used it as an an excuse not to apply to other places, when I should have known better. At time I was angry because I was sure that I was qualified and ready to take on this challenging occupation. It was a disappointment that I've let go, but never understood what the whole point was. Why did I go through this tedious process to get rejected?

But as I was talking to my friend, she told me that if she didn't get the job, it's fine because God has plans for her. She believes things happen for a reason, and I admire her for it. I admire her for her faith and her positive personality; her smiles brighten the room. It seems nothing gets her down even though I know she's gone through trying times.

I realized in that moment that this is why. I'm glad I went through the tedious interview process, even if I didn't get the job because I can offer advice to someone who does deserve the job, far more than I do. Someone I know will wholeheartedly kick-ass.

So disappointments, they may close doors, but maybe those doors weren't right for me. Perhaps it's a way for God to steer me to the opened doors that I am right for, doors that I want to enter and not because they're easy.

2011-10-10T19:24:00.002-04:00

A good way to try to get fit is to get naked and really look at yourself in the mirror.

If that doesn't work, then jiggle.

2011-10-09T20:40:00.000-04:00

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Into his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

Emily Dickinson

2011-10-08T18:58:00.004-04:00

Sometimes when I'm reading, I feel this fluttering thing within me grow. I'm not sure how to describe it, perhaps it's my dissatisfaction with reality. Fleeting thoughts and images that are usually hidden in the recesses of my mind become suddenly apparent and solid.

2011-10-06T21:13:00.002-04:00

I was reading about the strict enforcement of an immigration law in Alabama (HB56). Police officers can ask for anyone's legal status if they're suspects of crimes and schools can ask students about their origin of birth.

I'm pretty on the fence about immigration laws. I understand that it's unfair because legal citizens pay taxes, and have waited and gone through the whole application process, but in terms of human rights, it's despairing to read about all these immigrants who are deported back to their country.

If my family or I were illegal immigrants, I would hope with every ounce of my being that the government would take pity and grant me a chance to stay in America.

2011-10-06T09:17:00.001-04:00

http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/06/opinion/granderson-palin-presidency/index.html

Food For Thought

2011-10-04T22:26:00.002-04:00

Someone told me today that I'm just a big girl, "emphasis on girl". When I asked him how a girl becomes a woman, he said when she stops liking boys.

At first, I was offended, but I knew that he was right. I am just a girl. I haven't matured fully yet; I still have a lot to learn, especially in how to control my emotions. Maybe, I purposely like immature boys because I know I'm not ready to settle down yet, another one of many ways I sabotage myself.

CarrollBlog 9.29

We open doors,
close doors,
pass through doors,
and reach at the end of our only journey
no city,
no harbour-
the train derails,
the ship sinks
the plane crashes.
The map is drawn on ice.
But if I could
begin this journey all over again,
I would.

Nazim Hikmet

2011-10-03T22:30:00.001-04:00

Stay Positive

2011-10-03T19:56:00.001-04:00

Fresh apple cider and cheddar jalapeno cheetos. The end of a good day.

2011-10-02T10:13:00.001-04:00

CarrollBlog 9.30

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

by Rosemarie Urquico

2011-10-01T10:58:00.005-04:00

Something I need to continue to work on is my patience. I was never a patient person, whenever I wanted something, I'd want it immediately, but obviously that isn't how life works.

When I work with children, my patience is higher than it normally is (a surprise even to me). Of course, there are times where I feel like I have had enough, but I always try to reign in my sharp remarks because when I was little, I made plenty of mistakes that I didn't mean to do. So when I try to reprimand students now, I try to show them that I care about them and not simply just scold them.

I try to talk softer, telling them that they know better and that I don't anyone to get hurt. I tell them that they're good and that I know they mean well. And I think it's important to say that, to tell them that I know they're good kids because it shows I have faith in them. If you don't have faith in them, how will they have faith in themselves? They will take the role you readily set for them.

Yesterday, I was supervising older elementary school students and because I'm not normally around them, I felt out of place. There were new social issues that I was not used to handling and needed far more attention than I expected. Even though, they were older, they seemed more fragile than the younger kids because they know exactly what's happening in the world, whether it's on a social or mental level. I was surprised by how much angst they had, crying every half hour, complaining about everything but still managing to scream and run around as though they inhaled chocolate in every meal.

But when I spoke to them individually, they listened, really listened. When I spoke logically and meaningfully, they soaked in every word I said and afterward would try not to repeat the offense. I could see the remorse and guilt on their faces; they really do want to behave.

I don't know why, but it really made me proud of these kids that I've never met. I'm truly in awe by them. On the surface, any adult could become easily frustrated with their antics, but as I spent time with them, I could clearly see their qualities. They may not be honest all the time, but their facial expressions and actions don't lie. When they hurt someone's feeling, they try their best to apologize and comfort them. They have good intentions.

With that said, I need to try to be more patient with my 2nd graders and wait for their real characters to shine through. Instead of just thinking of them as kids, I need to view them as individuals that are slowly transforming into young adults.

2011-09-30T09:09:00.001-04:00

Half of week 1 and I feel dead.

-------------------------------------
I definitely did gain weight. More salad and jogging for me. Sighs.

2011-09-29T18:45:00.002-04:00

Local journalist by day and after school teacher assistant by night. Sexy.

2011-09-27T20:38:00.004-04:00

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I feel like there's nothing to look forward to, which I know logically isn't true. I know that the future holds a lot of happiness and achievement, but there's been so little progress with my career (and other stupid things) that I feel stuck and frustrated.

Gosh, I need to calm the fuck down and stop acting like a child. I wish I were more like my father, who says there's no point in worrying because whatever will come, will come regardless.

How much time do I need to get over you?

2011-09-26T10:54:00.003-04:00

I like it in the dark; I can't tell where my body starts and where your body ends. I'm moving, caressing your face and snaking my leg with yours until I feel the full outline of your torso. I wish I could press into it and breathe you in. I know I could be happy in your arms.

This shall pass

2011-09-25T19:10:00.004-04:00

I knew it was a stupid idea to return to Bing; the past has a tendency to rear its ugly head.

I returned to Bing feeling courageous, but I return home feeling like an unsteady failure.

2011-09-20T10:01:00.002-04:00

Dramatic of me to say, but I would like to jump off a precipice.

On the upside, I passed my road test yesterday! Imagine, me driving... Watch out world!

2011-09-16T20:14:00.001-04:00

CarrollBlog 9.13

This is about all the bad days in the world. I used to have some little bad days, and I kept them in a little box. And one day, I threw them out into the yard. “Oh, it’s just a couple little innocent bad days.” Well, we had a big rain. I don’t know what it was growing in but I think we used to put eggshells out there and coffee grounds, too. Don’t plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me. Choke those little bad days. Choke ‘em down to nothin’. They’re your days. Choke ‘em!”

Tom Waits

I still crack up when I watch this

2011-09-11T21:45:00.001-04:00

2011-09-11T11:07:00.000-04:00

God is good all the time.

2011-09-10T19:35:00.001-04:00

It may not seem like it sometimes, but we are exactly where we need to be.

2011-09-09T19:11:00.001-04:00

Dear God,

You are incredible.

Love,
Pauline

After reading to homeless children

2011-09-07T18:29:00.002-04:00

In order to persevere:

The most destructive habit.............................Worry

The greatest Joy.......................................Giving
The greatest loss........................Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work.......................Helping others
The ugliest personality trait.....................Selfishness
The most endangered species.................Dedicated leaders

Our greatest natural resource.......................Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"..................Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.........................Fear

The most effective sleeping pill................Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease....................Excuses
The most powerful force in life..........................Love

The most dangerous pariah..........................A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer................The brain
The worst thing to be without........... Hope

The deadliest weapon...............................The tongue
The two most power-filled words......................."I Can"
The greatest asset......................................Faith

The most worthless emotion..........................Self-pity
The most beautiful attire..............................SMILE!
The most prized possession......................... Integrity

The most powerful channel of communication.............Prayer
The most contagious spirit.........................Enthusiasm

2011-09-07T18:22:00.001-04:00

When things seem too good to be true...it usually is.

2011-09-07T12:19:00.001-04:00

Every time I hear Te Siento, I feel a bubbling mix of sadness and excitement. Strange.

2011-09-07T11:28:00.002-04:00

I wish I could accept every job offer. I wouldn't mind working multiple jobs, but then I wouldn't have time to eat or shower. Ugh.

2011-09-06T14:15:00.001-04:00

Why is it raining? Stop it!

2011-09-04T15:48:00.000-04:00

CarrollBlog 8.27

“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

Louis de Bernières

2011-09-04T11:38:00.001-04:00

Aw shucks. Look at me networking.

2011-09-02T21:27:00.002-04:00

Where can I get this digimon? I'm in love with angels.

2011-09-01T18:39:00.000-04:00

I'm rewatching Digimon, Season 1. Gosh, I love this show.

2011-09-01T12:04:00.002-04:00

My subconscious creates dreams that are a bit torturous. Logically, I know we're better this way.

2011-08-31T14:43:00.002-04:00

I'm on track and it's relieving. But for some reason, I have a bittersweet taste in my mouth.

2011-08-31T14:13:00.002-04:00

Am I really rejecting job offers now? Am I crazy?

2011-08-30T19:50:00.002-04:00

Some chances come once in a lifetime. Then there are the chances that will repeatedly show itself, but you never take it the first time around, and it's never the same after.

2011-08-24T20:51:00.002-04:00

"Because," he said, "I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you — especially when you are near to me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous Channel, and two hundred miles or so of land, come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapped; and then I've a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly."

Do you think I am an automaton? — a machine without feelings? and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! — I have as much soul as you — and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh: it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God's feet, equal — as we are!
-Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

2011-08-20T23:38:00.003-04:00

This is going to sound ludicrous, but I was telling my friends that starting September, I want to be romantically celibate for a year. I know that life doesn't work like that. I understand, considering my past history, why my friends are in complete disbelief. However, if I can put my mind to it, why can't I do it? I want to be able to concentrate on my career, on my family, on my friends, on myself, and most importantly, I want to look for God more.

I need to mature in my faith. I don't want boys as distractions anymore, especially when they've all been disappointments. If a guy can push me to the side and say he wants time for himself because he wants to prioritize his shit, why can't I? I'm not waiting around for my prince charming. I don't need a prince charming. I want to be prince charming for fuck's sake, in everything except the gender. I don't need anyone to save me.

Yeah, this video may completely contradict what I just stated, but I think Travie and this video are hilarious. Besides, this video should be seen by a certain someone anyhow.

2011-08-20T22:42:00.001-04:00

I want a guy who's romantic. The one who isn't afraid to jump.

2011-08-19T19:18:00.002-04:00

Talking to friends from my past always puts things into perspective. They motivate me to want to achieve more and enjoy life.

To Justine and Gurpreet, I hope you guys have amazing adventures in China and India.

2011-08-17T00:06:00.000-04:00

No more chances.

2011-08-13T14:33:00.001-04:00

Fuck you fate. I will get what I want.

2011-08-12T12:21:00.002-04:00

Current obsessions:
Yoga, books, Suits, Gossip Girl (guilty pleasure), applications, The New Yorker, and New York Cares

2011-08-11T18:53:00.002-04:00

Usa: If he'd be a good bf then...why not put in the effort? I just feel like if you do want him that badly...then why the fuck not?
Me: Because he doesn't want me.
Usa: He's retarded.

I know.

2011-08-11T00:29:00.002-04:00

Maybe romance doesn't exist. Maybe it's only a figment of the imagination.

2011-08-06T19:37:00.002-04:00

I signed up for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). It starts on the first day of November and ends on the last day of the month. I have to write 50,000 words. Oh crap.

2011-08-05T19:51:00.001-04:00

Having a planner is nifty.

2011-08-04T14:30:00.003-04:00

I wonder how many people viewed my resume and laughed.

2011-08-03T23:01:00.001-04:00

CarrollBlog 8.2

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice —
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do —
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Mary Oliver

2011-08-03T15:08:00.001-04:00

Officially a sellout. But I'd rather be a sellout and find a job.

2011-08-02T12:05:00.003-04:00

I'm debating on whether I should register for a separate blog and Twitter account for professional reasons. It seems that in the professional world, if I can provide links that show how committed, intelligent, and responsible I am, it can give me an advantage. However, I'm not the kind of person to sign up for multiple accounts and have the patience to update each one. I'd end up ignoring most of them except the one. Do I really want to revolve my life around professional websites that I know is only tailored towards recruiters?

2011-08-02T10:23:00.000-04:00

I am a big fool.

2011-08-01T21:13:00.003-04:00

My aunt left for Houston a few hours ago. As I watched her stand on the line for security check, I became overwhelmed with this feeling of being left alone. Even though I know she'll return, I wonder for how long. I know one day she has to return to her immediate family permanently. She can't stay with my dad and I forever. And now that I'm taking over her chores, it reminds me how much I take her for granted.

I need to grow up and handle my shit.

2011-08-01T18:27:00.001-04:00

dándole todo tu corazón

PSHAW

Please just bear with me for today

2011-08-01T16:16:00.002-04:00

Can you give me your chest for a couple of minutes? So I can lay my head on it, take in your smell, and forget everything else.

Forget that I have responsibilities and forget that you still aren't mine.

2011-07-31T21:03:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow begins August doomsdays.

I'm going to have to play housewife, learn how to drive, and find a job. Okay, it's time to get down and dirty.

2011-07-30T11:36:00.001-04:00

I don't want to return to Bingoland, even for a night. It's not worth it anymore; I just don't care.

2011-07-18T22:44:00.001-04:00

Vegas, Grand Canyon, NoCal and SoCal...meet me there!

2011-07-18T17:52:00.003-04:00

"Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird."
"Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird."

"There are just some kind of men who - who're so busy worrying about the next world they've never learned to live in this one, and you can look down the street and see the results."

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do."

"I think I'll be a clown when I get grown," said Dill. "Yes, sir, a clown.... There ain't one thing in this world I can do about folks except laugh, so I'm gonna join the circus and laugh my head off." "You got it backwards, Dill," said Jem. "Clowns are sad, it's folks that laugh at them." "Well, I'm gonna be a new kind of clown. I'm gonna stand in the middle of the ring and laugh at the folks."

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

2011-07-18T14:35:00.000-04:00

Thank you God for all these people who are trying to help me find a job. I'm incredibly blessed.

2011-07-16T12:38:00.001-04:00

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.
-- Denis Waitley

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.
-- Oprah Winfrey

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
-- Mark Twain

Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
-- Steve Jobs

2011-07-16T00:09:00.001-04:00

"The way you’d roll your sleeve up to hold my hand."

2011-07-13T21:40:00.001-04:00

Memo for the future: Don't feel sorry for yourself. Work your hardest and be grateful for what you have.

If life hits you, fight back.

2011-07-13T11:29:00.000-04:00

I wish I was part of the Wayans family. Damn.

2011-07-12T17:53:00.005-04:00

Current obsessions:

Dead Nation

Suits, the show

2011-07-12T10:28:00.001-04:00

I'm impatient; therefore, I need life to speed up a little bit. Though, school speed was too much. Maybe 65-70 mph wouldn't be that bad.