Half of week 1 and I feel dead.

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I definitely did gain weight. More salad and jogging for me. Sighs.

Local journalist by day and after school teacher assistant by night. Sexy.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I feel like there's nothing to look forward to, which I know logically isn't true. I know that the future holds a lot of happiness and achievement, but there's been so little progress with my career (and other stupid things) that I feel stuck and frustrated.

Gosh, I need to calm the fuck down and stop acting like a child. I wish I were more like my father, who says there's no point in worrying because whatever will come, will come regardless.

How much time do I need to get over you?

I like it in the dark; I can't tell where my body starts and where your body ends. I'm moving, caressing your face and snaking my leg with yours until I feel the full outline of your torso. I wish I could press into it and breathe you in. I know I could be happy in your arms.

This shall pass

I knew it was a stupid idea to return to Bing; the past has a tendency to rear its ugly head.

I returned to Bing feeling courageous, but I return home feeling like an unsteady failure.

Dramatic of me to say, but I would like to jump off a precipice.

On the upside, I passed my road test yesterday! Imagine, me driving... Watch out world!

CarrollBlog 9.13

This is about all the bad days in the world. I used to have some little bad days, and I kept them in a little box. And one day, I threw them out into the yard. “Oh, it’s just a couple little innocent bad days.” Well, we had a big rain. I don’t know what it was growing in but I think we used to put eggshells out there and coffee grounds, too. Don’t plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me. Choke those little bad days. Choke ‘em down to nothin’. They’re your days. Choke ‘em!”

Tom Waits

I still crack up when I watch this

God is good all the time.

It may not seem like it sometimes, but we are exactly where we need to be.

Dear God,

You are incredible.

Love,
Pauline

After reading to homeless children

In order to persevere:

The most destructive habit.............................Worry

The greatest Joy.......................................Giving
The greatest loss........................Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work.......................Helping others
The ugliest personality trait.....................Selfishness
The most endangered species.................Dedicated leaders

Our greatest natural resource.......................Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"..................Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.........................Fear

The most effective sleeping pill................Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease....................Excuses
The most powerful force in life..........................Love

The most dangerous pariah..........................A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer................The brain
The worst thing to be without........... Hope

The deadliest weapon...............................The tongue
The two most power-filled words......................."I Can"
The greatest asset......................................Faith

The most worthless emotion..........................Self-pity
The most beautiful attire..............................SMILE!
The most prized possession......................... Integrity

The most powerful channel of communication.............Prayer
The most contagious spirit.........................Enthusiasm

When things seem too good to be true...it usually is.

Every time I hear Te Siento, I feel a bubbling mix of sadness and excitement. Strange.

I wish I could accept every job offer. I wouldn't mind working multiple jobs, but then I wouldn't have time to eat or shower. Ugh.

Why is it raining? Stop it!

CarrollBlog 8.27

“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

Louis de Bernières

Aw shucks. Look at me networking.

Where can I get this digimon? I'm in love with angels.

I'm rewatching Digimon, Season 1. Gosh, I love this show.

My subconscious creates dreams that are a bit torturous. Logically, I know we're better this way.