Dear God,

Please. I beg of you. No more frat boys.

Thank you.

Completely Out of Shape

Plank for 1 minute & 10 push ups = ache in stomach and arms.
I am utterly ashamed. =(

"And of the Witch? In the life of a Witch, there is no after, in the ever after of a Witch, there is no happily; in a story of a Witch, there is no afterword. Of that part that is beyond the life story, beyond the story of the life, there is--alas, or perhaps thank mercy--no telling. She was dead, dead and gone, and all that was left of her was the carapace of her reputation for malice."
Wicked by Gregory Maguire

Don't waste your time reading it. Just watch the broadway show...it was not at all what I was expecting.

If you have taken a wrong turn, do not turn back.

Explore it.

A vital aspect in life is good friends (the other is good wine).

December 2007


December 2009

Same old, same old. =)

Bitter? Me?

Lately, all the single folks have transformed into gleefully taken folks. I wonder if it has anything to do with Valentine's Day or if it's because spring is coming. Usually, I whine about being single--I did, I do--but, honestly, I feel no bitterness. Being infatuated or being in love are beautiful feelings. It means that someone else in the world, even for a moment, can make someone feel worthwhile.

Hopefully, through the myriad of budding seeds, there will be a few real ones. And though love can be dangerous and confusing, sincere love has the ability to save you from yourself.

Currently listening to: Sweetest Smile by Luce

Cause this heart
Could take you away
And this heart could
Take you away
And I wouldn't ever
Let you go

You've got the sweetest smile
It's the sweetest smile
And it's something
You can keep all of your life

This entry is cheesy, this song is cheesy...
...but oddly enlightening and filling.

On my trip to California

There is no heaven or earth, only the plane between them that mirror the microcosm of stars and lights (a computer chip of sorts).

I dreamt that an elderly figure was on the couch, and we started to worry about him since he woke up really agitated; we were scared he was going to have apoplexy. My aunt put a spell on him to put him to sleep. So I turned off the television with my wand. And then as I was hovering over the figure, trying to figure out which spell to use--I was inexperienced, my aunt came rapping in English and my cousin came rapping in Korean and Joann was suddenly sitting next to me laughing.

When my mom's name is mentioned, my ears perk up.
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The other day I dreamt that someone was turning the door knob to my house, I opened the door expecting to see my dad or my aunt. But nobody was there. Instead, there was a hand on the door knob in a sleeve. I didn't know what do so I grabbed the hand and tried throwing it into the darkness of the stairwell. However, only the sleeve got thrown and the hand I was gripping was instead gripping mine. As I looked down though, the hand disintegrated.

As I related this to my dad, he said that I shouldn't have taken the hand off because it was originally attached to a skeleton and that someone chopped the hand off in order for the skeleton to not return or enter. Hence, I put my family in danger.

Once again, the door knob was turning and turning, this time I ran to the door because my aunt was there already. The door edged open. I tried to use my strength to push him back, but he was incredibly strong.

A skeleton entered in a black cloak with that hand of his and with the other hand, he was carrying a blade or a scissor. I was scared he would hurt my aunt so I stayed near by, but because of that I couldn't move away as quickly when he raised the blade towards my right breast.

I have never woken up--at least not that I remember--from a dream gasping and scared and paranoid. Usually, I have weird dreams like that but my conscious easily transitions to the next dream or follows up with blackness; however, due to my fear, the only way I could escape was to wake up.
----------------------------------------------------
Last night, I dreamt I was in a room with people, I don't recall who, and as I was leaving the room to walk down a hallway, there were grenades being thrown--there were liners where if one grenade was set off, it would also set off other bombs in the hall. So I threw the grenade that was already about to go off down the hall and I grabbed my friend to run.

The logical thing would be to have to run into the room we came from and stay there with everyone else, but my friend and I kept running and running towards the stairway. We knew we wouldn't make it, so we ran into the nearest classroom. From there, there was a large window and it wasn't a big jump so we jumped out the window into this beautiful sunny and grassy area. We were safe.

Then as we saw others gathered, I felt that I needed to go back in to get my other friends. I wanted to know if they were okay. Since the bombs all went off already, it was supposedly safe to re-enter. For some reason, my pants were falling and someone helped me tie them up, but as I was rushing into the classroom where my other friends were, my pants fell. No one was in the classroom, but all my things were neatly placed on the table. I walked over to the table to grab my things and retie my pants. Then the people I was looking for walked in and I was relieved.

I don't know what it is, but when restating dreams, though I remember specific parts and try to type up what happened, I feel that I miss the whole point of them.

Hallelujah

Resolutions
1. Read at least 1/3 of my book list.
2. Write at least 10 stories and submit at least 5 stories.
3. Be more confident and social.
(Most of all, try to be a better person and get into better habits.)

Wedding Dress

For the new year.

Wedding Dress
Pauline Hsia

I tugged at the necktie; I had difficulty breathing. Mary was trying on a wedding dress and I was waiting patiently for her outside the fitting room doors—another fiancé responsibility. The divan’s surface was unyielding and my ass had fallen asleep, but Blooming Bridal had the most to offer so far.

The other bridal shops fell short in Mary’s eyes, and I feared that this pursuit for a wedding dress was taking a turn for the worst. My father always said that during the period in which women plan to wed, they turn into animals and their wedding dress was their primary fixation. He’s exaggerating, I thought. But after seeing Mary pry a potential dress from an elderly woman’s hands, perhaps seeking for her granddaughter, and her disregarding my opinions and complaints, my father’s words rang thrice-fold. Though, gratefully, we discovered Blooming Bridal, I began to wonder about my pending marriage.

I have never seen this side of Mary before. Wait. That’s not true. Once, when her stepmother came to visit, she criticized her in cooking and cleaning. When her stepmother left, Mary threw a tantrum about not siding with her, but the truth was, I was just as scared as she was. I confessed, after being struck by fists, that there was a hairy mole on her stepmother’s neck that moved on its own accord, making Mary suddenly sputter with laughter. It took a kiss to finish sealing away the anger.

After that, I had never been privy to see her in foul moods. I began to doubt more and more if I knew Mary at all. Had love blindsided her now prevalent faults? Uncertainty grew and grew, consuming daytime fantasies that had once been Mary in the kitchen cooking my favorite meal or Mary in a skimpy French maid uniform. They were now replaced by Mary glaring and Mary nagging and Mary disapproving.

“Are you ready?” Mary’s voice was thin and sharp. The doors slid open and there she was, in the most stunning wedding gown, with her face scrunched anxiously. I stared at the right hand—that previously grappled a wedding dress from an elderly woman—unconsciously plucking at the lacy fabric.

“What do you think?” Her fingers stopped moving.

If I left her this instant, if I walked away and said that I didn’t think I could marry her…

She frowned, “You don’t like it?”

“Remember when your stepmom came to visit and you got so angry, you beat me half to death because I didn’t stand up for you.”

Mary’s face relaxed, “You told me that you were too scared to. That her hairy mole was out to get you.”

“You were really angry with me though.”

“I know. I was. You really hurt me.”

“Why did you forgive me?”

She jokingly said, “Who else could make me angry enough to have to give forgiveness?” Her fingers moved again, dancing lightly. She continued, “Wouldn’t you have forgiven me?”

I didn’t answer right away, but when I did, I said, “Are we paying for this dress with cash or credit?”